Still Can't Believe It

My desk! I have a desk now. whaaaat!? haha

So wow, I haven't updated in awhile. I've been a little busy to say the least. My last post was pretty vague. I wasn't ready to admit what was happening at that point. But here I am, in Toronto. Weird, I know. Never in a million years did I imagine myself living here. I didn't think Kelley and a big city would get along but so far so good. I have to say I'm so damn proud of myself! SO PROUD! Still can't believe I'm here. Everyday I wake up in Toronto I'm shocked. I just went for it. After many months of prodding from dear Mr. Keefe, I got up the courage to leave the comfort of home and just get out there! It was, and still is, a lot for me to take in. This past Thursday was the one month mark. I have no clue where that month went. Time goes by so fast up here. Every single day I miss my family. Everyday. As weird as it may be to say they were my best friends. I spent so much time with them, especially the past couple of years while mom was going through so much. It was terribly hard for me to leave them. Caitlan especially. After years of being annoyed by my little sister she's at the age now where I want to hang out with her! She's a hilarious kid and smarter than she knows. It's pretty awesome to see how similar we are too. Scary even. I guess I miss seeing them everyday. I miss the cats an awful lot too. Oh god, Hugs and Kisses, I'm going to kiss your faces off when I see you two again! You just wait.

This past Easter weekend was the worst yet. Knowing a lot of people were heading home to family. I thought I was going to be alright. A little homesick but I could deal with it. Too much going on to sit around and be sad about it. But when you're sitting alone in a basement by yourself, your mind tends to wander. All weekend I kept thinking WHY AM I HERE?! SERIOUSLY?! WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING?! I didn't come to Toronto to feel this alone! Yeah it sucked. I'm sure it's not the last time I'll feel like that, but hopefully it'll get a bit better over time. I guess I just didn't expect to feel that sad. I only really know 3 people up here so it's going to take some time. I'm alone quite a bit, which is great sometimes. But not really the most fun when you've only been here for a short while.

Work is pretty awesome. Things need to be kept pretty simple. Nothing to wild and crazy, but a few projects have allowed me to change things up and help take the company in a different direction. That's been cool. I can now say I'm a graphic designer! Beats the hell out of minimum wage landscaping (as much as I loved it). The people I work with are amazing. It's kind of like a second family. The receptionist Sandy, asked me the other day where my warm coat was?? "Kelley that better not be your coat!!?" I have tons of "moms" up here haha I walk to and from work everyday. A pretty good walk. About 20 minutes. Took my body a bit to adjust to all the walking. I was so used to just jumping in the car and going. I always walked everywhere when I was younger and loved it. I love it again! I've also lost weight since moving up here (not like I was a Fatty Lorraine before, but holy frig nothing fits anymore! haha) and I know all the walking has been a huge help. So yeah. Moving up here has had it's good and bad points. Some things haven't been as great as I first thought they would be. But it'll get better. I hope anyway. I just can't believe I did it. Something to tell my kids about one day I guess.