7 fings

Look at me, I'm hilarious. Imagine this little girl playing in a shitty band LOL


Well I guess I'll do this too kids,

7 Random/Weird Facts about me, The KPT:

1) I was a crazy kid. I was in a 2 person band with my next door neighbour. I was the drummer, he was the singer. We always played Lean on Me by Club Nouveau. I killed it. I hung out with boys too much. We had bike shows in my driveway almost every weekend, ramps were built, horrible music was played.

2) I hate the phone. I'm terrible on the phone. I'm not sure what happened to make me hate it so much. In grade 6 I was on the phone constantly with my best friend Nikki. I don't even call people. I feel like I'm a bother. I don't like the thought of me calling you and interrupting something. What's weird is I don't mind people calling me one bit.

3) When my mom took my sister home for the first time she told me to be careful and not touch the soft spot on the top of her head. The babies skull hasn't complete grown together yet, she tells me. Every time my mom would leave the room I touched it anyway. I was a 10 year old asshole!! She didn't die and she's a smart kid. I don't feel I've done any damage to her brainz.

4) I hate asking for help. If I'm asking you for help, I desperately need it. I don't like asking anyone for anything. Again I don't want to bother anyone. But I love helping people. I'll do whatever I can to help my friends or family, even old ladies in the grocery store. Shit, I don't know what that's all about

5) I'm very accident prone. The following explains why the leash attached to the clothesline was necessary:

*When I was a baby my parents dropped me down the stairs. Thankfully I was wearing a giant one piece snowsuit, I guess I didn't cry.

*When I was 2, I put both hands on the lawn mower. They were disgusting and horribly burned. Mom put socks on my hands.

*Another time I was playing in the car, popped the cigarette lighter in, waited until it popped out again. I then took it out and put it on my finger. Burned again.

*On a trip to the exhibition when I was 5, my cousin closed the car door over my hand. It was sick.

*I drank Pepsi out of the bottle and opened the cupboard door at the same time once. Ramming the bottle into my teeth. I chipped my tooth and looked crazy as hell.

*After slipping on ice one New Years eve, I smashed my face in the pavement, hard. I fell like a ton of bricks. I messed my jaw up pretty bad, had a lump on my chin for about a year, cracked a tooth, and acquired a sweet scab under my nose that looked like Hitler's moustache.

*I put a pitch fork in my foot that time.

*I always walk into door jams and walls. I bang my head on things. At this point nothing can hurt me.

6) I'm crazy about hygiene. I have strict routines. I'm a lunatic. I exfoliate more than one should. I use body lotion like it's going out of style. It goes EVERYWHERE. I'm obsessed with perfume. I have too much. No has ever told me I smell bad, so I'm not sure where the obsession of layering perfume comes from. I put cream on, then body spray (usually the same smell as the cream), then perfume oil (if I feel like it) and finally perfume. I've since tried to RELAX!

7) I love to make people laugh. If I have to make fun of myself to make you laugh I'll do it. I mean everyone loves laughing, but I REALLY love it. I find humor in pretty much everything. This is both a good and bad thing.